Who's not your daddy! Story of a brown eyed girl.

We all got here because our parents, you know, did the dirty. However identifying those parents can be a little tricky. I believe we are all put here for a reason and God decided to put one person together with another person to create a child Those people were picked for certain reason, maybe color of hair, eye color, ect.

Let's see where to begin in this whole tangle mess of who's my daddy, who's not my daddy. I guess the first place to start is what makes not knowing my biological father ok. My father, I know it's so contradictory. I said I didn't know him right. Well my mother married a man when I was 8 years old. I say a man, but he is more an angel. He is my father. ( I will refer to him as my father, so try and follow me here) He has taught me almost all my life skills, he has loved me and cared for me even when I was a little brat. He's been there for me threw everything. He is my best friend and my father.

All this being said, I still obsess about where my brown eyes came from.My mom, brother and father have blue eyes, beautiful blue eyes. Me, I have mud pie brown eyes. I have no clue why it bothers me so much. Other than if we were to ever have sit down and done a family portrait, I would be the " one of these just don't belong".







The whole dad quest happened when I was about 12 years old. I was lead to believe that my brothers dad was also my dad. Hell, he could be. But that one summer, when I was playing soft ball and we won the season, I had all the girls back at my house for a slumber party and good times. Well my mom and dad, thought they should also celebrate and well they went next door to the good old party house. They came back DRUNK! My dad was laying on the front porch, mom comes in staggering everywhere, my whole team and I are looking at them like they are some frat boys who found there way into my house. My mom sits down in and asks us to sit around her. We do. She starts to cry and turns to me and says, " I am so sorry you don't know who your biological father is." SERIOUSLY! You wait now to share this little tid bit of information with me?

I walk mom to bed, 4 girls grab fathers arms, I grab fathers feet and off we go to bring him to bed. Lets just say, that wasn't the little party I had in mind. Since that time, I've been pumping family members for answers. I can't ask mom, she doesn't remember talking about it. Well several years later I get a name from mom, it works with what other family members are telling me. I can not find this man anywhere. Fast forward to 2005, 3 months before my wedding. I try google. Oh yes, my genie in a bottle. I find the number and when I get home I talk with my husband and he says give it a try.

I call this man, introduce myself, ask if he remembers my mom, he says yes, asks how my brother is. I tell him. Then I don't even think, I just blurt out, " I'm calling because I was told your my biological father." I get a laugh and am told that I (me) was there way before he came along. I do have a picture of this man holding me when I was little, but he has 2 sons of his own now and a wife. I decide maybe he is telling the truth. I won't lie and say I wasn't upset. I cried, like a 2 year old. I had spent years trying to find this man, only after the secret was spilled in such a let's call it a distasteful way, only to be told, nope try again. I then call my grandparents and fell better! I know why they are called grand-parents, they are GRAND! ( There will be a grandparent blog, this isn't the last of the fairy grandparents)

I will say that it made be appreciate my father so much more, he never once has denied me even though he knows these aren't his brown eyes. What a father!

Well now of course it's years later. I get ahold of my brothers father, no question there, blue eyes and freckles, they look just alike. Maybe this will work here. Let's see the time I was born my mom was married to my brothers dad, however she was like the air force slut in a since. I know it's not nice to speak of your mother like that, but that's what she was ok. Point in case, there are at least 2 other people in question on who is my dad. Now my brothers father, let's call him Donny, Donny could be my father. We don't know, there was no DNA done to disprove or what ever. However it was said, long ago, that the man I called on the phone was my father. Well Donny is a great guy, I guess awhile ago he wasn't, but I like him and he and I have a great relationship now. He is going to help me locate another guy and we are going to sit down and get DNA tests done. I've been thinking, if we go on Morey, we might be able to get the test done for free. But I'm almost sure, they make at least one person cry and run off the show, I'm just not willing to do that.

So until Donny and I have another conversation, it's still all up in the air.

Future taxi cab driver coming right up!

Alright, first and foremost, I have no clue as to what I am suppose to do, you know the whole proper way in which to do a blog. However my whole life I've been told I should share all the crazy and mildly F'd up things that have happened to me. Not saying I'm the only one, but I'm sure I'm going to share them in such a way, it will be unique. I will go ahead and say, I am so random, one mintue I might be talking about how I don't know my biological father, which may lead my brain into start thinking of the time I went swimming and lost my top. It's that simple.



So this whole idea of a blog for me started when just this morning, I decided, I'm tired of working at my part time job. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact I have a job, because as we know lots of people are without one. But, I decided I would look into going back to school. SO alittle back story I guess to which got me here. I'm 26, not wait 27. I actually feel 18, but reality is reality, I'm 27, I'll be 28 in November. Ok, so I've been out of school since 2000. I thought if I go to college then I can get a better job. I had a great job, I worked in the jewelry field, not selling more behind it all, setting up items, ordering pieces in, working to replace pieces. It was great! Then I made the mistake of messing that all up. But what is done is done. So here I am working part time as a cashier. Not the most exciting job in the world, not to dis professional cashiers, because my bosses are great at there job. But I feel I'm best suited doing something else.



Ok, so I log onto the local website for our community college and start looking at the courses available. If I didn't question my smarts to begin with I am certainly question what fills that space in my skull. I told my husband I feel so dumb! I wonder if they have a test I can take and they tell me what I should be doing. His response was, "you pick what you want to do and you learn. And the last time you took a test it said you should a taxi cab driver."



Yes you heard right. In 3rd grade we were given this test on what we would be good at. I wanted so bad to be a taxi cab driver, and guess my glee and excitement when, BAMB! It said I would be a good taxi cab driver. I remember being so happy, I had found my calling. Most other kids had, teacher, doctor, blah, blah , blah. I didn't give one crap about there lame future jobs, I was going to be a taxi cab driver. I went home and told my parents we took a test about what we would be good at, and I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. However once I showed them the results, well you really can't turn a frown upside down. Let's say, my dad wished to never speak of said test again and that is why I think they waited till I was almost 18 before they would allow me to start drivers ed.



So back to the hear and now. I'm totally stumped on where to go from her. I heard a lovely lady who I work with explain how I would describe my, " grabbing life by it's balls" or however that saying goes. " I don't make decisions". Don't get me wrong, I'll make a decision for someone else, give my 2 little cents when not needed and have your life figured out for you in no time. But when it comes to me, I'm just not sure what to do with myself. So this will be one of many processes for me. Most likely I'll continue to put it off, but in the mean time, it will drive me, haha, no pun intended, into several deep thoughts.